1. Beer Does Not Come in Pints.
The Pint unarguably is the proper and correct serving size. It’s impossible to feel cool ordering a schooner and having a tiny little girly glass.
2. Assigned Seats in Movie Theaters.
I can see no earthly reason for this, aside from pissing me off by slowing down the lines.
3. Book Prices are Ridiculously Jacked-up.
Prices in general seem high even for a San Franciscan, but books seem disproportionately pricey. The latest fluctuations of the dollar and Australian dollar have helped somewhat, but this poor reader is still out of luck. First stop when I get stateside: Powell’s.
4. High Hippie Density.
Maybe its something to do with the prevalence of surfers and backpackers who populate Bondi, but it seems like there are quite a few unnecessarily dreadlocked individuals. I can barely walk down the street some days without wanting to retch a little from the patchouli stink.
5. Coffee is more complex than it needs to be.
6. High Douchebag Density.
This is actually a much bigger problem than the hippies. I see alot of bling and hat-tilts in the male population. Others have written more extensively on the geopolitical ramifications of this topic, to which I have to add only: Amen, brother.
7. High Deadly Animal Density.
Sydney is an urban area, and encroachments from angry mother nature are rae. But I can never forget about all the thousands of animals and plants out there who are plotting my death.
8. They Only Speak English in the Loosest Sense of the Word.
Australia’s unique linguistic heritage has created a hodge-podge of unlikely names and words that just sound weird to my American ears. Coupled with a racial incliniation to shorten/infantilize every word they come across, it can become inscrutable. For example: breakfast is often “shortened” to breakie. But you’ll notice that they both have the same number of syllables (2) and are therefore the same length. Same for “football/footy” An Australian friend introduced himself as “John, but you can call me John-Oh for short.” He lengthened his name for short.
9. Disappointing Scarcity of Kangaroos.
Despite having signs like this:
There weren’t that many kangaroos hopping around. I expected the people to ride them to work in the morning and store their valuables in the safety of their pouches. Imagine my dismay when I learned that not only was this not true, they don’t box or rap either. And upon my return to the United States and the inevitable debriefing of my family and friends I find that they tend to be more disappointed with the things I didn’t see (Kangaroos and the Outback) than the awesome things I did see.
10. It’s Too Big and Too Beautiful.
And I had to leave it.
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And we dont like you because your a fucking yank … we didnt ask you to come here go back to your fucking country. You’ve done enough damage to this world how about you blow yourself up or go to the nearest twin towers aaaaaaaaawwwww ooooops you dont have that anymore do you??? hahahhaha serves you fucking right ya fuckhead.
Wow.
Reason #11: Australian internet commenters aren’t great at picking up on subtlety, reading lists all the way through to the end, and just generally getting the point.
i just dont get them and their weid scense of humer;why doz sharen got 2 be shaza,barry iz bazza? they sound as if their,ve got somthing ram,d up their ars,lol, just so nasely irrertates the hell out of me. also iz two dam hot cant wait too leave.
Thank you for recognising that our country is beautiful. I like to think so too, although some of us often forget! Kangaroos and Wallabies usually come out at night, so the yellow sign is more for night drivers, especially in the country areas you would see thousands at night! Too bad nobody told you. As for the shortening or lengthening of words, well I can’t say that it makes sense but I’m sure you can gather (despite the last post) that Australians are friendly and nicknaming or ending words in -y/ie/ is a way to become more chummy with your fellow Aussie.
Gee Carlos, you’re a great ambassador for your own country, we may change a lot of our words in day to day usage, but at least, when it comes to something a little more important, we can pull out the English that we learned and use correct spelling, punctuation and grammar. Cheers for embarrassing yourself, though. It made me smile.
i live in Australia and the one thing i hate is how hot it is!!
but when i go to the movies we sit wherever so i dont know which cinema u went to!
and the slang i dont like either!! i personally talk normal and sometimes dont understand some of the slang!
other than that australia is great!!!
Kade – insults poorly, and is a sad case.
carlos – has no ability in terms of English / coherency. Try again.
Article – earlier points may reflect some degree of annoyance experienced whilst in Australia. However, ends in positive note.
Thank you, I completely agree. Although another thing that really fustrated me is the amount of large stomached, board short wearing, bald headed, flip flopped men drinking beer while sitting on fold out chairs having a barbecue. Maybe it’s just me.