Tagged in: lamest

The Lamest Things I Said Last Week: Shakespeare on Tex-Mex

When discussing the interchangeability of one South-Western style burrito restaurant for another establishment of like ambiance, price, and menu, for some reason I thought it would be funny for me to say this:

“A Moe’s by any other name would smell as beefy.”

It got about the response you would think. That is to say it made people groan, sigh, and roll their eyes. And shake their heads.

The Lamest thing I Said Last Week: Hunger makes a man Cheesy

“Man. I am hungry. I’m matriculating at St. Arvin university.” – uttered after sitting through a 3.5 hour torts final.

Now, making a pun on the way the abbreviation of a nonexistent college to convey one’s hunger is incredibly lame. But I can’t take all the blame for this one, as I got it from a series of macaroni and cheese commercials from a few years back. I think, though, that the fact that I filed this little bon mot away for future reference and actually used it in every day conversation is my own personal brand of pathetic-ness.

The Lamest Thing I Said Last Week: Making Music

For reasons too bizarre and shameful to get into here, I found myself listening to the most recent album from that falsetto wunderkind and ex-Boy Bander Justin Timberlake. It’s called Future Sex /Love Sounds, and most of the songs are produced by Justin’s longtime collaborator, a rotund fellow with an undeniable talent for laying down hot beats and dope hooks who goes by the sobriquet of Timbaland. You probably know him. He frequently guests on other pop songs, and was more often than not the architect of the beat. In any case, his presence is all over Justin’s new album, to the point where he pops up on virtually every track. This lead me to make the remark that perhaps the former N’Sync-er should start calling himself “Justin Timb-aland.” The groans could be heard throughout the car.

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The Lamest Thing I Said Last Week: Pun-ishment

I say many lame things. Jokes that people don’t get and/or are not funny, references to cartoons, and stories that go nowhere- I’m guilty of them all. For example: One day this week, I was discussing The Office Christmas episode with a co-worker (which by the way was by turns hilarious and heartbreaking, as it should be) and I talked about my love for the show in either of its trans-Atlantic incarnations. But I didn’t let it end there. In an ill-advised attempt to sound clever I told her I was an “Offic-ianado.”

Blank stare. Crickets chirping. God Help Me.