It had to happen…

Florida State University To Phase Out Academic Operations By 2010

It was only a matter of time. The wise old adage that has graced many a t-shirt has been proven true. Without pesky academics to get in the way, Tallahassee is officially a “Drinking Town with a Football Problem.” At last the Mighty Seminoles can focus on the truly important things in life, like preparing for the illustrious Emerald Bowl, here in San Francisco. It is perhaps the most prestigious of all the bowls to be named after a brand of nuts.

The only thing I find shocking about this article is that the byline is Sarasota, Fl. How could the Onion, one of the most reputable news outlets in the world, have made such a careless error? Everyone knows that Florida State University stands like a beacon of ivory tower intellectualism in the thriving metropolis of Tallahassee, the fast paced capital city. Sarasota, indeed.

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