The Lexi-Sean: Improving the English Language One Word at a Time

Swive- verb, 1. To copulate with.

“Did you hear about Captain Ceebas? He was too busy swiving the scullery maid to steer around the rocks. Ran aground.”

“Was that Rachael Ray I saw coming out of your bedroom this morning? Yeah, she totally made me a spinach fritata after I swived her all night.”

This is an awesome word that I totally wish had made the jump from Middle English to the common parlance. Geoffrey Chaucer was pretty fond of this little verb, and I believe John Barth shares my appreciation for it. He once bemoaned modern English’s lack of an equivalent. It means to have sex with, but it is a full robust word with significantly more vigor and pop than our pedestrian synonyms. Wouldn’t you rather be caught swiving a pretty lass than banging a chick? The difference is semantic, but swive has less of a vulgar connotation than words like “fuck,” “bang,” or “rail.” I suppose “do” would be close, but it has 30% less je-ne-sais-quoi and only 1/10th of the joie-de-vivre. The next time you’re telling a ribald story, be sure to say you were swiving the object of your affection. They’ll thank you for it.

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